Mom in the City

This holiday season is moving along as usual.  I find all kinds of things added to my to-do list that include shopping, baking, wrapping and planning.  Wait.  Aren’t those things always on my list?  Often they are but now there is a sense of pressure sprinkled with sparkle and joy. 

On my social calendar this year was a new gathering that I was a little nervous to attend.  A girlfriend invited all of her female friends to come over and have a girl’s night.  She and her husband live in the most fabulous penthouse apartment in the neighborhood.  It is decorated with amazing family heirlooms coupled with old Hollywood glamour.  When I’m there, I always think, “Thank God my kids aren’t with me.”  I’d be a wreck.  She is tall, thin and beautiful like a model, and has glamorous friends.  The gathering was small, and I arrived a bit late.  It took me over an hour to get ready (I’m usually ready in 10) as I changed my clothes 7 times trying to figure out how to cover my pregnant belly and frumpy tired mommy look.  My anxiety rose as I thought about the others she was undoubtedly friends with and the fact that I knew NONE of them. 

In a basic black tee shirt and maternity yoga pants, coupled with a sparkly pink duster sweater and sparkly Toms, I realized this was as glamorous as I was going to get.  I arrived 2 hours in to the start of the party, knowing it was an open house type thing. I was met by my host in her Sex in the City  fabulousness, and 5 of her friends.  The group was as eclectic as expected.  I immediately meet three that are mid-thirties to mid-forties, none are married, none have kids. All are stylish and attractive in their own way. They have amazing stories of their jobs and recent travels.  As I listen to one explain how she was on an Eat Pray Love kind of adventure, she then got stung by a jellyfish and had to spend 6 weeks in a hospital in Thailand.  I am then interrupted by a 71 year old Hungarian dress designer who loves his life so much you kind of want to be him.  I for sure want him to make me clothes. People are going in and out of another room getting foot massages. Then there was the girl with the Afro wig who brought her collection of Alligator couture purses embellished with vintage jewelry.  I smiled at them and loved nearly every single one.  When I heard how much, my wallet burst into flames and I felt guilty as I envisioned how I would be creating the knock off for myself. 

Suddenly, one woman started asking me questions.  She decided she wanted to know what I was about, and all attention seemed to turn to me.  I found myself reciting facts of how old each child was, where I met my husband, how our life works, and when do I sleep.  There was fascination with pregnancies, birthing, and my current Advanced Maternal Age pregnancy.  At one point, a young blonde girl says, “Oh that gives me so much hope.”  That was the moment it hit me. 

I arrived at this little holiday gathering knowing I would not be like anyone else. I imagined fashionistas and martini drinkers with beautiful shoes and exciting lives and no one over a size 6.  I, for the most part, imagined correctly.  What I didn’t imagine was that I would be the interesting one.  I had the life many of them actually wanted, and I had something that money couldn’t buy….a beautiful, healthy marriage and family.

Half past 10pm, I had to leave suddenly as a call from home brought me back to reality.  I said my good byes and rushed to the car. I got home to three frustrated kids.  The little one was not going to bed, and this threw off the older ones with their homework etc. I took off my sparkly sweater and shoes and took back Operation Mommy. My older son calmed down and kissed me goodnight.   My daughter grabbed her homework off the printer and smiled at me as she sassily shook her new haircut and headed to her room.  I pressed my cheek against the little one and he curled around my belly to feel his baby brother kick. I snuggled him and sang him to sleep.  It isn’t an alligator bag, it isn’t a Chanel-ish suit, and it isn’t holiday cocktails and foot massages.  It is my life, and it is good.



  1. Zaneta said,

    December 13, 2012 at 9:44 am

    Such a great post. You definitely inspire me. So proud to call you not just Cousin, but friend! xo

  2. samayazmom said,

    December 13, 2012 at 9:51 am

    mutual admiration society my mutual.

  3. Sheila Tenney said,

    December 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    When I brought June home I was so afraid the other moms with babies wouldn’t want to play with me because I am so much older than most of them. Who knew I would be the one with experience, and a sense of humor about parenting? It’s been great, and ridiculously easy to make new friends. Glad you’re already feeling the same.

    • samayazmom said,

      December 13, 2012 at 5:04 pm

      So glad it’s going well She. June is such a cutie pie. I can’t wait to meet her some day. Please please please let us join you for an hour or two the next time you all go to D-land!!!
      And I know what you mean…for the last 10 years I have been that “experienced” mom. I feel what I really have to bring to the table is that every kid is different, every situation is different, and what works for one may or may not work for the other. It’s a relaxed and very special place to be. Welcome to the club 🙂

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